We are an alchemy of influences

The fork and knife clumsily striking the plate interrupted my mid-air sandwich, prompting me to glance at the woman behind me. I needed to identify the culprit who hadn’t been delicately advised against dragging silverware. My thoughts shifted to Uncle Nelson, my step-grandfather in Sierra Leone, West Africa. He, a cartographer and professor, instilled in me table manners during our weekend gatherings. At his dinner table, I absorbed lessons on conversation and etiquette, guided by his gentle and patient demeanor.

Uncle Nelson, my grandmother’s partner and the father of one of my favorite aunts, influenced my childhood. His library, filled with books and old maps, was a haven for orienting my little seven year brain towards books, knowledge and curiosity. Amidst manicured grounds, I would run around with Aunt Linda, swing on a tire, and read.

During dinner, Uncle Nelson would inquire about my school and reading life, insisting on complete sentences and thoughtful conversations. His insistence on proper etiquette, down to the way I held my silverware, has left a lasting impact.

Now, whenever I encounter plate scrapers, I’m reminded of Uncle Nelson. His presence lingers in shared meals and explorations of libraries or old maps. In every clink of silverware, his voice echoes, “we must not hear your silverware.” Uncle Nelson continues to shape my approach to meals and conversations.

In what subtle and significant ways have the adults in your life acted as alchemists, blending patience and guidance?