Weak ties

I’ve been thinking about strong ties vs. weak ties ever since I read studies about it a few months ago.

Strong ties involve people in your life with whom you are closely linked, such as your partner, children, parents, siblings, best friends, and boss.

Weak ties are people in your orbit whom you loosely know, like your barber, barista, children’s teachers, farmer’s market vendor, yoga teacher, or nail tech. You’d recognize them in a mugshot, know some tidbits about them, but perhaps you’ve never been invited to their house.

So, what’s the big deal?

Well, researchers have found that your weak ties are profoundly important, especially if you are looking for a new job opportunity or trying to avoid loneliness. Weak ties are more useful when searching for a job than strong ties.

Weak ties are more likely to have a broader view of opportunities and will connect you to a wider network. They are also more likely to put in a good word for you or want to help you land well - more so than your old boss in some cases. I can confirm this to be true; many of my business clients have been made through weak ties and many referrals have come from weak ties.

In terms of abating loneliness or perking up your day, that weak tie person you chit-chat with before a yoga class, makes your latte, your mailman, neighbor, or the quick smile you give a stranger at the market all contribute to happiness. In fact, having a lot of weak ties is an indicator of well-being.

I am not surprised to hear that the studies advocated for increasing one’s weak ties. Let’s be real, strong ties can come with baggage and patterns/buckets those ties put you in. While I cherish spending time with my best friends, I’ll inevitably say something that doesn’t land well or might revisit an old pain point, leading to an awkward moment…cause baggage + history + patterns = ?!?!$ (whatever you want to put in this equation)

In contrast, with a weak tie, there’s no history—just a brief, pleasant interaction that brightens our or week. I love these moments in my Pilates class, on a hike with a meetup group, weekly chats with my farmer at the farmer’s market, and the people in my Sunday paint class. All brief, jovial and affirming interactions while doing the things I enjoy in community with others. And if the weak tie is a repeated interaction they are more apt to see me in new ways than my strong ties.

Weak ties are more encouraging bunch I find. They see your potential. Example my classmates at art class are more encouraging than other creatives in my strong ties circle. This has nurtured and encouraged my creativity tremendously.

How do you feel about weak ties? Do they make a difference in your sense of community?