Slow gift giving

In recent weeks I saw so many gift guides everywhere - mostly on Substack and in my inbox. None of them appealed to me since I’d committed to slow gifts this holiday season.

For me, slow gifts meant thoughtfully chosen items: books (preferably thrifted or sourced from local bookshops—Amazon was a non-starter), unique finds from small or local shops, vintage, and handmade, functional pieces that carry meaning and intention.

Now that we’ve exchanged gifts and I am in the liminal and time-rich space between Christmas and New Year’s, I thought I’d blog/record how easy and meaningful it was to gift slow gifts this year.

I gifted my niece in her mid 20s these vintage plates, made in England set I found at my local antique shop. She had expressed a desire for vintage plates for hosting dinners at her apartment. It made me happy to know her generation is interested in gatherings and real time connections.

My other early 20s niece had jewelry on her Christmas list. I chose a few earrings from a consignment store in Eastern Market DC for her.

For my friend and colleague, I found handmade pajamas from an artisan in DC and made a custom bundle of vintage books from my favorite local bookstore.

In addition to an expresso machine and other functional gift requests, I gifted my daughters both of whom who live in their own apartments, thrifted cookbooks.

My sister in law is a devoted young grandma to several kids under the age of 5 so I gave her a set of children’s books to keep at her home and perfume from a small business owner.

For my 17 year old, he got his usual small haul of hoodies, new headphones (not from a small business) but an in person store rather than online. It’s hard to gift teens vintage, thrifted things.

I still wanted to bring some intention to his gift so I made him a book using Shutterfly with photos and copies of clippings from our local newspaper who covered his season. He loved it so much, flipping through it multiple times and putting it on his IG with the comment - best gift.

I gifted my husband a recliner he’s been asking for decades but I refused because it didn’t match my living room aesthetic. This is the year I am throwing aesthetic out the window and leaning into a bit of maximalism. So now there’s a huge recliner in our living room that’s bringing new joy to his football watching experience. I am still getting used to the recliner vibe…This gift falls in the functional and intentional bucket.

I have four young nieces under the age of 16. I gifted all four 5 year one line a day journals I picked up at Politics and Prose bookshop in DC.

For my writer cousin, I ordered two books from Bookshop.org, one which I thought would inspire some of her writing and other that’s a nod to our shared love for vintage things.

For my kids stocking stuffers, I went to my local crunchy co-op grocery store and got a bunch of locally made lip gloss, hand lotion, room spray, chocolate, toothbrush, deodorant, soap, bubble bath, soaking salts, lavender pillow spray, herbal teas, spices and interesting hot sauces. It was actually fun getting creative in there.

Just today, my 6’5 17 year old son told me he ran a bath with his lavender aromatherapy salt baths which made me smile.

I have to say, this was my most stress free, satisfying Christmas shopping experience. There was no online reviews comparing, frantic last minute shopping or opening endless online deliveries.

My purchases this season felt tangible, intentional, useful and quality. They also honored the environment and my personal ethos around consumerism, books and vintage goods.

It’s worth noting that slow gifting felt easier this year because my Christmas list was mostly made up of adults who had little interest in fast fashion or trendy items whereas gifting for a group of young children or trend-focused teenagers make slow gifting more challenging.

I am grateful for this season of life to make slow gifting a way of being and aligned with my values.