I regret my invisalign — Movement is Life

I have my dad’s entire face, especially his mouth and jawline. When he was approaching 60, I noticed the natural gaps at the sides of his mouth had widened so much you could almost fit another tooth in there. I remember looking at him and imagining myself in my 60s, snaggle-toothed.

Pre-invisalign- my Dad’s mouth, my inheritance

Fast forward to 2023: I watched my cousin close her gap with Invisalign, and oddly enough, I noticed her journey more than I ever did during my own kids’ orthodontic journeys—even though I was the one paying for their braces and taking them to nearly every appointment. For some reason, I didn’t long for braces then. But something about turning 40, losing collagen in my skin, and seeing age spots appear on my face made Invisalign suddenly appealing.

I got them in the spring of 2024. As soon as they were installed, I hated them. My orthodontist tried to reassure me, saying, “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to them and they’ll only make you even more beautiful” I gave her a weak smile, but deep down, I didn’t believe her. And I was right. I never got used to them. I hated them every single day.

Mid-way through Invisalign process with them in

The real regret came in March of this year, when I finished my final tray and was told the process was complete. My orthodontist had been wrong not only did my beauty not get better (which was never the goal), it was dimmed. Sure, the side gaps were closed and my overbite was less pronounced. But one of my best features has always been my lips, my dad’s lips. Full, expressive, striking in red lipstick. They took up space in a way that felt bold and loud. After Invisalign, they didn’t. My lips had visibly shrunk, and my jawline had subtly shifted away from my father’s. I’ve been grieving that change for weeks now.

What deepened the ache was something I heard on a podcast I can’t quite recall. An actress was speaking about how she had been pressured to get a nose job to make it in the industry. She refused, especially after hearing a writer say that our facial features carry our family’s history. The idea was that every feature we love or struggle with tells a story of where we come from, it’s our inheritance. Altering them for convenience or conformity erases that lineage. I understood exactly what she meant. I had sold out my dad’s mouth and teeth on 14th street in Washington DC.. And since he passed away in 2019, the loss feels even heavier. I miss the big mouth he gave me.

Not long after that, I started watching White Lotus and became mesmerized by Amie Lou Wood’s teeth. She has a pronounced overbite that makes her look striking, endearing, entirely unique. Her sister has the same teeth, ancestral beauty passed down. Amie Lou said she was told to get braces too, but she refused, even though she was bullied as a kid. She sees the distinctiveness of her teeth as part of what makes her beautiful.

Emily Wood (Aimee’s Sister) Source: Notion Magazine

If I’m honest, I probably still would have gotten Invisalign even if I’d heard these stories before. The only reason they resonate now is because I’m standing on the other side of regret.

I’m taking the L on this one and now I’m researching whether my teeth might slowly shift back to how they were if I stop wearing the retainer. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I’d love to get my big mouth back.